Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Fed interest rate decision looms as battle over cuts takes surprising turn - TheStreet

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Be who you already are.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Startling Health Risk: “Normal” Sodium Levels Linked to Heart Failure - SciTechDaily

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Kristin Chenoweth shares curious post about ‘being disliked’ after NBA national anthem uproar - New York Post

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s here now, writing to you.

The sadness was still there.

Microsoft’s Bad News—500 Million Windows Users Must Now Decide - Forbes

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Where are the big girls? This is the first time I've seen a bigger lady boy and that's awesome .. you should post more of them here, nothing wrong with a thick black lady

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What are some good fantasy books that contain aspects of magic in them?

I was tired of trying and failing.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

And the sadness?

Box Office: ’28 Years Later’ Chomps on $14 Million Opening Day; ‘Elio’ Facing Pixar’s Lowest Debut Ever as ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Rules Again - Variety

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I was tired of fighting.

Analyst sets date when Nvidia stock will hit $200 - Finbold

You are like me, then.

I had run out of hope.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I caught my 16-year-old daughter reading Haunting of Adaline. It says it’s an 18 and I’ve heard some bad stuff about that book. What should I do?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.